Sunlight, Moonlight and Rituals

Nature has such a way of instructing me. She does not teach from a pulpit, nor from a manual. She is within and around us every day; her lessons are everywhere. Her breath is in the wind, her voice is in the waves, her warmth in the sun, her inspiration in the stars, her wisdom in the trees, and her guidance in the light of the moon.

In Ayurveda, the sister science to Yoga, humans experience both a 24 hour circadian-cycle as well as a lunar, seasonal and yearly circadian cycle. These cycles are the pillars of living an Ayurvedic life bringing balance between our body and the natural environment. As we live in alignment with the natural rhythms and cycles of the earth, we feel a sense of connection with nature and all her elements.

Our relationship with nature is reciprocal. If we spend more time in nature, we come to recognize the medicine and importance of natural spaces. We are more inclined to maintain and protect the natural space around us because we have a relationship with it.

The sun is so majestic, so powerful, and so full of light.

The sun has the ability to make our skin glow and our soul shine. The sun helps us feel cheerful, happy, healthy, and radiant. Oh, how I love the sunshine.

And yet, there is something magical, mysterious and mercurial about the moon. Often, the moon is not recognized or appreciated like the sun, because her most bright light shines when we are asleep.

As I have become more aware of my various phases, and those of my daughters, I have become more curious about the phases of the moon.

Lately, I find myself walking outside at night to witness the shape and the quiet beauty of the moon. This night-time ritual that helps me remember that even during our dark hours, there is light that exists within the world and within us all.

One late summer night, during a particularly dark phase, I went outside and stared up at the bright full moon. I was feeling grief, worry, and fear during this period.

I was grieving the changing seasons of motherhood and the loss of my children’s pure innocence. I was worried about how I would be able to guide them in such a chaotic and confusing world. I was feeling into some fears about my future, not knowing what was to come. During this dark time, I was searching for light.

On that particular night, I spent some time standing there, observing this magnificent sight, taking in her light.

Barefoot, on the side of the road, with tear filled eyes, I placed my hands on my heart and silently observed her exquisite beauty. In that moment, as I stared up at her with curious eyes, it seemed that she saw me too.

I saw her in me and me in her.

Healing is an act of love, an act of the soul.

Like most humans, I struggle with anxiety, worry, fear, and stress. I feel a lot of pressure in my life. And, I grieve loss and change.

During these times, I ask for space. I go inward. I search for light. And always, I find light within the darkness. I come away from each experience, just a little more healed and with a little more self-awareness than I had before. My heart opens.

Life has a way of wounding us and breaking our hearts. None of us is exempt from life’s ups and downs. When we take time to draw inward, we discover the story of the heart. When we tend to the garden within, we grow.

Healing is an inner journey and a path to becoming the highest version of ourselves.

Learning to truly love myself has been key to my healing. My relationship with myself is priority. Without that, there is no authentic relationship with others.

Will you be explorer who dares to sail into unknown waters and brave the wilderness?

How Yin Heals my Soul

As often as I can, I treat myself to a Yin Yoga class or workshop. Recently, I had a beautiful and healing experience take place within me during one.

As I slowly shifted from one pose to another, while using my breath as a tool, I began to feel my body open and my mind relax. As our final pose, before rest, we were called to Bound Angle / Butterfly Pose- Baddha Konasana. This therapeutic pose opens the hips, stretches the lower body and improves circulation. It can also relieve the symptoms of stress, mild depression, tension and fatigue.

As I sat in this pose with my knees butterflying open and the souls of my feet together, I became deeply reflective. I invited imagery into my practice. I was present, calm, relaxed, and at peace. Tears fell from my eyes.

I was so moved by my experience, so I pulled out my journal and began to write. This poem is the product of my experience that day and some of my more recent moments of healing.

New Season, New Moon, New Intentions

One of the most simple healing modalities I use in my work and in my life is that of sankalpa. In Sanskrit, San means “to become one with” and kalpa means “time” or the “subconscious mind.” According to yogic philosophy, sankalpa is the word for intention. Typically, it is a self-created short phrase or sentence, clearly and concisely expressed. Sankalpas foster focus, motivation, determination, paticence, and perseverance- all qualities that enable us to develop, sustain, and deepen our meditation practice. Sankalpa represents a heartfelt intention reflecting our highest ideals and points us towards our heart’s deepest desire.

In Yoga Therapy, we use sankalpa as a yogic tool to help the client design a personal intention, a resolve to bring about positive change in their life. We interweave sankalpa specifically into meditation and deep relaxation practices.

A sankalpa is often resonant during yoga Nidra, a state of deep relaxation. It is believed that when the mind is relaxed, the sankalpa can be written on the subconscious mind and in the heart.

New seasons naturally feel like a time for me to evolve my personal rituals and practices. With the arrival of a new season and the symbolism of Fall Equinox, I felt inspired to re-design and re-commit to my own personal sankalpa. I’ve been interweaving my sankalpa into my personal meditation practices as well as introducing it to my students and clients this week.

I recently began working at an addiction recovery center, integrating yogic practices and yoga therapy into small group settings. This has been a humbling and rewarding experience for me. On Fall Equinox, I was working at the center with a small group of clients. We began our practice with a grounding exercise themed around new seasons, a new moon and new intentions.

We moved through a sequence of practices, including breath work, movement and grounding. I invited them to take a few quiet moments to create and write down their own sankalpas. Then, they had the opportunity to share any reflections. They were focused, engaged and present. The reflections and intentions shared were beautiiful, poetic, and heartfelt.

Finally, we ended with a deep relaxation practice. As they rested, I scanned the room and observed each person. I was moved by the way they were able to be still and calm. On that lovely fall morning, healing took place.

To watch others heal is a gift. To experience my own healing take place at the same time is icing on the cake.

I honor all those who are in the space of healing. There is so much work to be done, and yet, I see it happening all around me. I am grateful for those who show up in healing spaces and hold space for so many others. I am thankful for the wisdom and teachings of those who have gone before us and introduced these beautiful concepts and practices. We stand on the shoulders of giants.

These simple tools can enhance our practices and give our lives direction and purpose. As we commit to daily acts of love and self-care, we are changed.

Tonight, we welcome a new moon which represents a new phase of the moon cycle. It is a perfect time to create and develop a personal sankalpa. I encourage you to reflect for a few moments today. Perhaps, write out a sankalpa. Keep it simple and personal for you. Memorize it. Then, next time you find yourself in a moment of stress, worry or fear, sit down for a few minutes and take a few deep, long breaths. Bring to mind your sankalpa. Say it to yourself several times. Visualize what it looks like, and imagine how it feels to live in this way. And then move forward with your day with a sense of confidence and trust.

This, my friends, is the work of the soul.

May we heal our relationships with ourselves, with one another and with our beautiful Mother Earth. Let us not underestimate the power of healing that can come through the sun, the moon, and the stars.

References

Live and Breathe your Resolutions

How to Create a Sankalpa

The Staying Power of Intention

Soul of Yoga

Seasons and Shifting

Our planet is changing, as are we. In his book, A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle says,

“There’s a shift happening in humanity, a shift in consciousness, happening now, because it has to happen now.”

-Eckhart Tolle

We are living in a mysterious time. I am noticing a shift in consciousness happening in my own life and in the lives of so many others. A new season is arising and unfolding.

Springtime is such a beautiful and instructive time of year. It is the bridge between two opposites, winter and summer.

As we say goodbye to spring and welcome summer, I am reminded that each season is unique. Spring is a period of rebirth, renewal and restoration. Oh, how I love the spring (minus the allergies)!

I witness tiny miracles every day when I walk outside into the sunlight and see the flowers and trees in bloom. I feel a shifting in the way the temperatures rise and fall with each passing day. In her quiet ways, Mother Earth teaches us that change is necessary for growth.

Often, out of fear, we resist change. When we resist change, we fight against nature. Yet change allows for new ideas and new life to unfold. When we allow change, we ebb and flow with nature.

Motherhood & Mother Nature

I love the neighborhood I live in. It has a quiet and charming feel to it. Shades of green and pops of color fill the landscape here. I am surrounded by trees where I live. It is part of why I love living here. We also have wild turkeys that roam free during the daytime hours. I love watching mother turkeys nurturing their new babies at this time of year. In the night-time hours, they roost in the tall trees. However, the female turkeys stay on the ground when incubating and raising their newly hatched brood. They shelter their new chicks under their wings. They patiently wait for their babies to develop their wings to fly well enough.

These simple moments in nature can be so instructive. They allow us to ponder life’s questions and challenges.

Parenting, in this day and age, is one of the greatest challenges we face.

I am thankful to those who help me raise my own children in an ever-changing world.

I feel gratitude for my daughters and their unique personalities and experiences. I cannot raise them in the same way, because they are not the same people. They are each unique, each one with her individual struggles and strengths.

And yet, they are much the same. They are made of the same stardust.

The irony about raising children is that the older our children get, the less we know about parenting! Children humble us, hurt us, teach us, inspire us, question us, and surprise us. They remind us how little we know.

As I look back on my own upbringing, I feel gratitude for the ways in which my parents nurtured me. So often we can wonder why our parents did certain things the way they did. As I watch my own children grow, I feel a sense of empathy for my parents who, like me, did not have a guide to the perfect way of parenting. They did the best they could with what they knew. Just like me.

Like many mothers and fathers, I have hopes and dreams for my children. As they grow, they form different opinions, beliefs and ideas about the world around them. It is my job to raise and protect them, just like the mother turkey who so carefully tends to her babies. And yet, I want them to be free. I want them to discover their wings. I want them to find their own path, whatever that is.

These are the musings of my mothering heart.

Spiritual Parenting

But when I take time to really listen, I learn more about the world they are growing up in. I begin to see them with new eyes.

The beauty of motherhood, and fatherhood, is not in the well-edited pictures we show the world, but rather in the inner workings we do in our own hearts.

She was facing a world full of high schoolers, all being pulled in different directions. As I watched from my car that day, tears came to my eyes. In that moment, I knew that her world was challenging, just like mine. And yet, her world is very different from mine.

I felt so close to her, and yet, so far away.

She has asked me for space. This feels much different than when she was young. In her childhood days, she wanted me close to her. Snuggles, butterfly kisses and bedtime stories were our daily love language. And now, she is different.

She is blossoming.

Recently, I listened to a lovely podcast conversation between two inspiring women. Krista Tippets is the host of On Being podcast. Her podcast continues to be a favorite of mine. She interviews Sylvia Boorstein who is a mother, grandmother, Jewish-Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist. Together, they talk about raising children. They discuss how nurturing children’s inner lives can be woven into the fabric of our days. She reframes our ideas of spirituality and how we can adopt these ideas into our parenting. This idea suggests that rather than trying to fix your child, you say something like, “Sweetheart, you are in pain. Relax, take a breath. Let’s pay attention to what is happening. Then, we’ll figure out what to do.” 

Spiritual parenting, also known as conscious parenting, is a more awakened and open approach to parenting. It is parenting in a more conscious way rather than in a controlled way. It is about letting go of what we want for our children and giving them space to evolve, in their own time and in their own way. As we let go and give them space, they discover who they are. They develop emotional maturity. They become more authentic versions of themselves.

I feel so much responsibility to raise my children and instill important values in them. Children are very forgiving when we can acknowledge and take accountability for our mistakes. We we walk beside our children rather than in front of them, they are more open to loving guidance. They learn to take accountability for their actions when we take accountability for ours.

We all become empowered.

As my intention has become less about teaching my children and more about letting them teach me, I am learning so much about the world they live in and the challenges they face. As I reflectively and compassionately listen and ask questions, my relationships with them become more authentic. I am so grateful for the women in my life who shed light on these subjects and inspire me.

Reframing Spirituality

Speaking of spirituality, there is so much talk of it these days. What does that mean to you…to be a spiritual person?

Words limit us, and yet language is how we communicate. The very language we use is shifting. We are reframing our ideas of what spirituality is.

Several years ago, I made the very difficult choice to leave my lifelong religion. When I left, I wanted to make sure my family and friends knew why I was leaving. I didn’t want to be labeled as weak, lazy, or crazy. You see, there are many myths about people who leave. In a way, I felt like I needed to explain and defend my choice. I knew people made judgements because I had made judgements when I was in their shoes too.

So, I wrote a letter. My letter was heartfelt and true. I simply wanted the people I loved to know that I felt called to a new spiritual path. I wanted the people in my life to know that I was still a spiritual woman.

Sometimes, on our journey towards spirituality, we can develop a spiritual ego. This comes when we need to prove our spirituality, as if we have something to prove.

I can see now what I could not see then. I did not need to prove or explain anything to anyone. I just needed to trust that the choice I was making was the right choice for me, and I knew it was. Letting go of what others perceived to be true was hard for me. Eventually, I was able to let that go and learn from the whole experience.

I am not sure I understood what my spirituality was fully, at that point. For much of my life, I attributed my spirituality to my religion, as if they were one and the same. Now I understand better the truth of it all. Mormonism gave me an opportunity to experience and explore that part of myself in some ways. However, that part of me was always there. Spirituality really has nothing to do with religion, although religion provides a framework for one to develop aspects of their spirituality.

Spirituality is an innate part of all of us, no matter our race, religion, cultural background, opinions, preferences, etc. It is inherent; we are born with it. Spirituality is not something we earn because of our righteous deeds or because of a belief system instilled within us. Spirituality is not earned; it is realized.

We are spiritual by nature.

Our life’s challenge, our life’s lesson, is to learn to be human.

Right here, right now.

Spirituality is about seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself, which can result in positive emotions, such as peace, awe, wonder, contentment, gratitude, acceptance and presence. We may feel connected to the Divine, a Higher Power, Mother Nature, or the God within.

Spirituality has a quiet background presence to it. A person living with a deep sense of spirituality has a presence, a glow, an inner beauty that radiates from the inside out. Spirituality is a way of Being.

The windows of heaven open.

Spirituality is a practice of being present in whatever moment you are in. It can be practiced in a loving kindness meditation or taking a moment out of your busy day to feel and express gratitude. It can be experienced by walking outside in and feeling the wind brush up against your face. It can be experienced by listening to the songs of the birds. It can be sensed when noticing flowers blossom and new life bloom. Spirituality can be felt inside the walls of a church or a meditation center. It can be experienced while swimming in the ocean or walking through a meadow.

Spirituality is found in the ways in which we care for ourselves and the ones we love. Spirituality is a practice.

“Spirituality isn’t just done by sitting down and meditating. Spirituality is in folding the towels in a sweet way or talking kindly to people in the family even though you’ve had a long day.”

– Sylvia Boorstein

Spirituality is Presence.

When we are present in whatever moment we are in, we grow in our spirituality.

Expansion

When we judge ourselves and one another, we limit our spirituality. Anytime we develop a mindset of one-way thinking, we become fixed in our ways. As we mature, we realize how vast spirituality is. We begin to think outside the boxes that society puts us in.

For many years I could not see beyond the limits of my belief system. For a long time, I believed there was one path to truth. A shift took place in me, and I began to realize that some of my opinions, perceptions and beliefs were limiting my personal spiritual growth. A shift in my consciousness was happening.

I believe that the most important path we will ever take is the one that feels true to us in whatever moment we are in.

Often, when pondering some of life’s deepest questions, we ask, “Why am I here?” This question can either keep us stuck or set us free.

In his book, The Fifth Agreement, Don Miguel Ruiz shares:

“You are here just to be, for no reason. You have no mission except to enjoy life, to be happy. The only thing you need is just to be the real you. Be authentic. Be the presence. Be happiness. Be love. Be joy. Be yourself; that’s the main point. That’s wisdom.”

When we learn to pay attention, to be present in each moment of our lives, and to live with a sense of gratitude for each breath we take, spiritual dimensions open.

SISTERHOOD

For many years, we humans have separated the ideas of science and spirituality.

Some say one is a fool to lead a spiritual life; others rely solely on spirituality without needing science to help them map their way through the world. What if both of these ideas are much more integrated than we think?

Science has given us the methods for discovering truth. Science teaches us about facts. The facts are the bones of the story.

Spirituality remains a force of generating meaning and purpose into our lives. There is a mysticism in spirituality. It is the magic of the story.

Often, they are seen as mutually exclusive. They are different, just like our own children are different. And yet, there is a sameness. They compliment each other. We don’t need to pick a side. Together, they are sisters of nature.

Both science and a sense of spirituality are needed to map our way through the journey of life.

Yoga Therapy: Mind, Body, Spirit Connection

For many years, we have compartmentalized the physical, the emotional, the mental and the spiritual. We are being challenged to reframe our ideas of their separateness. There is a sisterhood in the mind, body, spirit connection. Each of these parts of ourselves plays a different role. When these three unique parts of ourselves are in alignment, we feel whole.

In the field of Yoga Therapy, we value both fields of science and spirituality, specifically as they relate to mind-body-spirit health. We consider the relationship of our physical, mental and spiritual health as fully integrated parts of ourselves.

Just as a mother sees her each of her children as unique, we see each client as a unique human being. We work one on one and in small group settings.

We note an individual’s chief complaints, diet and lifestyle choices, symptoms, current situation and current care. Most of our work is done as we compassionately and reflectively listen, observe posture and breath patterns, note emotional and mental state of being, and assess a client’s needs.

So, we watch and observe. We note the quality of the breath and where the person is breathing from. We offer specific breathing practices to help a person learn to breathe in a more beneficial way.

When working with a person who struggles with stress, we inquire where in the body they have tension or pain. We offer restorative practices which can help alleviate pain.

We offer tools to help calm or energize the nervous system.

We use a variety of lenses, including Chakras, Koshas, Gunas, Doshas, and more.

Then, we create a customized plan of care which can empower the individual to improve his or her own health and well-being. We work with people to help them discover the tools they need to experience healing and wholeness.

As people recover from addiction, learn to manage stress, improve their sleep habits, heal from injury and trauma, and manage anxiety and depression, their entire life changes.

We do not seek to cure or fix. We seek to understand and empower. We have a specific role we play in empowering others to discover their own true nature.

Healing is an inner experience that can include support from many types of professionals, but the work always begins and ends in one’s own soul.

I love this work. I believe it can help heal and restore what is broken in our world.

Earth and Heaven Chakras

The body is such a miracle. The mind is such a mystery. The spirit is where the magic happens. When working in harmony, we live our best lives!

There is a myriad of ways to explore different aspects or qualities of ourselves. In my last blogpost, I introduced the Chakras. Chakras are spinning wheels of energy and light all throughout the human body. Chakra exploration is simply one lens to look at ourselves more closely through.

Simply put, when the chakras are blocked, energy gets stuck. Blockages happen when we experience disturbances. Disturbances are a normal part of life. We all have ’em! It’s part of the human experience.

We get energy, Prana, flowing. This is how we remove blockages in our chakras.

When people refer to the chakras, they typically begin from the base and move up. At our base chakra, we connect with earth. The lower three chakras are considered earth chakras- root, sacral and solar plexus. The next three chakras are considered the heaven chakras- heart, throat, third eye and crown of the head. At our crown chakra, we connect with heaven.

When the chakras are in harmonious pairs—heaven and earth—they allow us to live a balanced and healthy life. We feel restored. As we live in harmony with ourselves, with nature and with one another, heaven and earth join.

Life becomes heaven on earth.

Open Hearts

Today, I’d like to introduce the fourth chakra…The Anahata Chakra. Its location is the central channel of the spine, the heart center. Its associated glands and organs are the thymus, lungs, chest, arms, breasts and heart. It is embraced as the heart chakra, the center of love. Its symbol, the lotus flower.

I love to practice this particular mudra in my morning meditation. It reminds me of my own personal growth and what has emerged for me as I have withstood the dark winters of my life and allowed new life to blossom.

The element represented in this chakra is air. Its primary color is green- the color of life! It’s secondary color is pink- the color of love!

“The heart chakra vibrates as the color green, the color when spring is born. It is that soft aura that we experience in the early spring which gives us hope for the future. The color is both soothing and healing.”

-Nischala Joy Devi

The practices and modalities of Yoga help us open and energize the individual chakras. There are particular poses we can do to open our hearts and receive. One of my favorite heart openers to call my students to at the beginning or ending of a class or session is Fish Pose, Matsyasana.

This pose is done by lying on the back with your legs extended and your arms resting alongside your body. Next, is to snuggle the shoulder blades into the upper back and lift the torso and head away from the floor, creating an arch in your back. A block placed under the thoracic spine can be helpful. You may release the back of the head onto the floor if it feels ok. For some, a second block under the head is useful as to not compromise the integrity of the neck.

Simultaneously, you activate, relax and breathe.

The physical benefits of this pose are numerous. Our breath becomes expansive in this pose. Fish Pose is also a metaphor of being open to receive.

The sense of touch is connected with the Anahata Chakra. The emotion associated with this chakra is love.

Have you experienced heartbreak as of late? If so, take a moment. Wherever you are, bring your hands close to your heart. Come into Lotus Mudra and begin to breath into your heart space. Slowly, and one breath at a time, let it go. Let yourself feel all of the feels nestled inside your beautiful heart.

Tears may flow when the Anahata chakra blossoms open. We may experience feelings of grief, and we may experience feelings of love.

As we live with an open heart, without being attached to outcomes, we allow space for new hopes, new dreams, new life, and new love to be born.

A Reminder

A couple months ago, Dave and I traveled to Colorado with some friends. Together, we went to a Trevor Hall concert at the beautiful Red Rocks amphitheater. This place has an energy that is indescribable.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a new place with the ones we love, including beautiful strangers who no longer seem like strangers. I found myself in that place on that night. We were all connected by the music, the mountains and the star-filled night sky. It seemed unreal, and yet it was real.

As we danced and sang together that night, I was moved by the lyrics in many of the songs. One song, in particular, really spoke to me. It is a song that I have loved for a long time, but on this particular night and in this particular place, the words struck me in a new way (feel free to listen, here).

As the song played, I felt gratitude for the people in my life. I was surrounded by beautiful people. I was surrounded by friends. I was surrounded by nature. I was surrounded by love. Dave and I held each other close.

Tears began to stream from my eyes. I felt enveloped in love.

I was reminded that love is not something to be sought after. Love is at our very center. We are made of love. It is the very fabric of our Being.

That knowledge is power.

We have the power to change this world. However, it begins within. We cannot build outside of ourselves that which we have not built within.

As we restore and find balance to the Anahata chakra, we develop compassion.

Compassion is at the heart of love. Compassion is a way of being present for someone. A person who is compassionate listens. No judgement takes place, just open ears and an open heart. The greatest gift we can offer someone is to hold space for them. A soothing presence will invite a person who is experiencing pain to feel safe. A true friend is one who listens and feels compassion. Compassion empowers us to serve. Compassion is the bridge between war and peace.

I once heard someone wise say that all things are an act of love or a call for love. Everything comes back to the heart. Love is the key to opening that door.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

-Rumi

ONE MESSAGE: HEAL THE WORLD

At the heart of every great story ever told is the journey of healing and love. The underlying message of all the stories we share as human beings is similar. All the great scientists and spiritual leaders we honor have taught this message in one way or another. Their stories are different, but their message is the same: Heal the world. Love, above all.

As we practice spirituality and embrace science, we restore balance. As we live from a place of love, we bring it into our homes and into our communities. As we develop compassion, we end war, we build bridges, and we live in peace. We build a more beautiful, peaceful world.

We are reframing our ideas of love, parenting, spirituality, science, health and well-being. This the season we are in. A season of change, growth, expansion and healing. This is the shift in consciousness that is happening in the world right now.

How do we heal the world? We heal the world, one heart at a time.

This is how we build a new earth and a new heaven.

There’s never been a better time to do this work. The time is now.

A Gift, From My Heart to Your Heart

Finally, I wrote and recorded this simple meditation. It is inspired by Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, which is a favorite of mine. This a 15 minute Yoga Nidra practice, including imagery, guided breath work and a song.

You can listen to it anywhere, anytime. There is no wrong or right way to do this. Just find a quiet place. Allow your heart to be open. Feel whatever arises.

Relax. Breathe. Enjoy. Take this ride…

All my love,

Holly ❤️

Today, I pose a simple question for you. Before you read on, take a short pause. Place your left hand on your heart, and rest your right hand just below your belly. Begin to breathe very slowly… and take a moment to let this question permeate your soul:

What does it mean to live a life ON FIRE?

Notice any sensations or feelings you may be experiencing. Close your eyes and reflect. I invite you to take a moment to write down any words, thoughts, ideas, or pictures that came to your mind.

The Dreamer, the Lover and the Fighter

As a young girl, I dreamt about all the beautiful things. So many dreams were nestled inside my young girl heart. Sometimes it felt like my life was too small for the great big dreams that existed within me.

I dreamt about writing. And so, I became a writer. I wrote poetry, short stories and dramatic journal entries. Putting words to paper felt so natural for me. It felt like a safe space for me to say all the things I wanted to say. It brought out the artist and the creator within me. It made me feel alive and free. So, I wrote. No one told me I had to earn my ‘writer-hood’. All I had to do was write.

I dreamt about being a dancer and a singer. Some of my most treasured memories include bringing my sisters or the kids I babysat together and choreographing dance routines. I wanted the people I loved to be passionate about the things I loved. I became quite the dance drill sergeant. But, can I just say…our dance routines were pretty amazing! I mean, I’m kinda proud of myself. I orchestrated it all without any teaching experience. I had no fear. All I had was a sense of confidence and passion for the beautiful things in life.

I sang and danced my heart out to many a Whitney Houston or Cyndi Lauper song!

I have a vivid memory of one particular dance routine we choreographed and performed at a family camping trip to a favorite song, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. I have an ocean of memories of bringing together my siblings, cousins, neighbors and friends together. I was not afraid to gather people to watch us perform. I wanted the people I loved to be passionate about what I loved. And I loved LIFE!

I was created from love. I was raised in a home where love was present. Love was instilled in me from a very young age. I witnessed a special love between my parents. Their love was unique. I was a curious girl. I loved sneaking into my mom’s room to look at her jewelry and perfumes. Her jewelry box was filled with all sorts of treasures. One day, as I was looking through some of her things, I found a love note she had written to my dad. I do not remember the words in that letter, but I remember the way it made me feel. It was the first time I saw my mom in a new light. She wasn’t just a mom. She was a woman in love. She was a sensual, passionate woman. I did not know how to feel about it then, because it was my mom. I can now see what a gift it was to have a mother who was deeply in love. My dad was the recipient of her sweet love, and what a lucky guy! Together, they did their very best to teach me about love.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture where we receive so many mixed messages.

These messages can feel confusing and conflicting. While I had a good example of love from my parents, I felt confused about the mixed messages I was receiving from various places about love and sexuality.

I always held onto the hope that someday I’d experience a special kind of love. After all, I was a romantic at heart!

To this day, I can recite nearly all the words, slightly butchered, of any Journey or Chicago love song. I love sad songs, happy songs, and songs that make me wanna dance! I love people, I love Nature, and I love LIFE! Even during my darkest moments, love is what keeps me going. When all else feels lost, love remains.

“The only thing I know is true is the power of LOVE.”

-Flossie Park, C-IAYT

I was a fighter. I fought for the people and the ideas I believed in. I fought with my siblings, and I fought with my friends. I had opinions and ideas, and I wanted to be heard. When someone told me I wasn’t good at something, I didn’t give up.

I kept trying. I never gave up on doing things I felt passionate about.

If I love someone or something enough, I’ll fight for it. It’s just who I am. This fight in me has carried me through cancer, the loss of my faith, the ending of my marriage, job loss, and ultimately an existential crisis.

As a young girl, I did what I wanted to do. I followed my heart. I loved hard, and I fought fiercely. My dreams became my reality.

Although I could not name this emotion back then, I lived with a deep sense of passion. This fire within my heart and soul is what inspires me to live with a sense of purpose. My passion inspires my creativity. It keeps me dreaming; it keeps me loving; and it keeps me fighting.

PASSION IS THE FIRE & EMOTION THAT LIVES WITHIN US ALL…

We are born with it! As we mature, we learn to channel it. We rediscover it over and over again as we journey through this life. As we let go of the need for plans and live with a sense of open-heartedness, the unexpected can show up in our lives.

Today, I feel grateful to have found love again and to be in a new kind of partnership. Dave loves me from the inside out. He loves all the parts of me. He holds space for all my moods and emotions. I love his passion and love for life. I feel completely free with him. I am experiencing the kind of love I dreamt about as a young girl. The dream never died.

A couple Sundays ago, Dave and I joined some dear friends for a Sunday afternoon of adventure in Sacramento. It was a beautiful day filled with synchronistic moments! We ate delicious food, met beautiful strangers, shared stories of love, and enjoyed the artistic murals of Midtown. We came upon a particular mural which really caught my eye. I was mesmerized with its beauty and what it symbolized to me.

This mural is so expressive. It depicts many emotions-fear, courage, strength, pain, purpose, and hope. To me, this beautiful piece of art represents a strong, passionate woman who seems to have a burning fire in her heart. I see a woman who is on her way to becoming free.

There is nothing more beautiful for me to witness a woman who is strong and free. A woman who is healing. A woman who knows how to stay in the fire. A strong woman who is not afraid to feel. A woman living life from a state of PASSION and PURPOSE. A woman on fire. A HUMAN on fire!

STAY IN THE FIRE

In a yoga practice, a teacher will often call the student to a difficult pose. The student is asked to breathe deeply and slowly. Awareness of the breath is what guides a student’s practice and allows them to stay in a pose. The teacher will ask the student to hold the pose.

“Stay in the fire”

-The Teacher Who’s Not Sweating 🤨

The Body is Water

Wheels keep on turnin’, turnin’

Svadhisthana Chakra

I recently finished a course in my Yoga Therapy program called Subtle Anatomy. This was a favorite course for me. I love studying the human body. It truly is miraculous. I especially loved learning about the more subtle aspects of the human body. There is a mysteriousness to the energy body.

We dove deep into the study of the chakras. Chakra means “wheel” in Sanskrit and refers to energy points in the body. There are seven chakras in the body. They are thought to be like whirling, spinning wheels or vortexes of energy and light. They correspond to bundles of nerves, major organs, and areas of our energetic body that affect our emotional and physical well-being. Connected through channels that flow up and down our spines, the chakras infuse vitality to every facet of our being. The practices and modalities of Yoga help us open and energize the individual chakras.

The Sacral Chakra (Svadhisthana) is the second of the seven main chakras of the body. It is located below the navel in the pelvic area. The sacral chakra is associated with emotion, creativity, sensuality and the ability to experience pleasure. Its corresponding emotion is PASSION. Those who are well balanced in this chakra have harmony in their relationships.

The element associated with this chakra is water.

Yoga heals us from the inside out.

Take another moment to reflect. Do you feel numb, uninspired or stuck in any way? This happens to me too. Today, I’d like to share a few of my favorite “Yoga Snacks.” These simple ideas and tips can activate your sacral chakra.

1. Dance, like no one is watching. Any type of dance style that focuses on hip movements works. Put some good music on and just dance!
2. Open your hips. The hips are the most powerful joints of the body. Hip openers are a great way to release blocked energy. The hips don’t lie!
3. Connect with nature. Swim in the ocean, sit by the river, walk in the rain. Be like water.
4. Soak it all up. Take a warm bath with some epsom salt or essential oils. Indulge your senses.
5. Flowers are happiness. Walk to a flower shop or just around your neighborhood. Notice. Pick or purchase yourself some scented, colorful flowers!
6. Breathe slowly and deeply for a few minutes. Quiet your mind. Write down words or images that come to you. Practices like the one at the beginning of this post are helpful and inspire creative thoughts. Let it flow out of you.
7. Take yourself out for a sweet treat. Savor every bite. Date yourself.
8. Make love. Take time to explore your sensuality with the one you love. Don’t rush it. Slow down. Feel what it feels like to be in your beautiful sensual body.
9. Go outside in the sunlight. Do a simple sun salutation. Be embodied with energy and light.
10. Create. Paint, draw, bake, etc. You choose. Let it be messy, and let it be fun. Unlock your creative potential within!

Finding the Fire Within

I recently had the opportunity to share my story. I share the raw and the real. When we share moments of our suffering and our joy, we feel connected with each other on a deeper level. I would be honored to have you watch or listen to this authentic and intimate conversation among friends.

Once upon a time, many years ago, I shared a room with my two younger sisters. I have fond memories of our bed-time hours. We’d share stories, whisper secrets, and wish upon stars. Many a night, these sisterhood rituals helped us drift off to a state of rest and sleep where all our young girl troubles seemed to fade into the night sky. I miss those days, and I miss those nights.

Times have changed. The world today is filled with noise and distractions ever so present all around us. It is no wonder so many of us struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep. We struggle with all stages of rest and sleep, and in turn our awakened state is often less than ideal.

Why We Sleep

In his thoughtful and well-researched studies, Matthew Walker, a Neuroscientist and sleep expert, gives voice to the importance of sleep and rest. In his book, “Why We Sleep; Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams,” he declares, 

“Sleep is truly an object of AWE.”

As I’ve educated myself about the effects of sleep on mental health and paid careful attention to my own habits and patterns, I have discovered the beauty of a good night’s rest. 

Many factors contribute to our mental health, including biological genes, brain chemistry, life experience, trauma, family history, environment, lifestyle, diet, physical activity, substance use and so on. Parallels between lack of sleep and the high rates of depression, anxiety and other mental health issues are rapidly rising. Walker says, “The silent sleep epidemic is one of the greatest public health challenges we face today.” He asks us to be curious about the very systems at hand and suggests, “We will come to learn that sleep is the universal health care provider.” I wonder how our collective mental health could shift if we could look at sleep as a state of ‘AWE’…

The Power of Dreams

Albert Einstein was known for his genius ideas and innovative insights, which partially were inspired by the subconscious while in dream state. Some of his most inspired theories came to him in dream form. Einstein reportedly slept for 10+ hours per day, nearly one and a half times as much as the average American today. Akira Kurosawa, a Japanese painter and filmmaker, once said, “Man is a genius when he is dreaming.” 

Yet, Einstein, just like us, lived in a confusing world. Like many other ‘geniuses’, he battled mental health challenges. While sleep is not a cure for our mental health struggles, it does contribute to improved well-being. There are many benefits to both the quantity and quality of our sleep. A few benefits of sleep and rest include improved heart function, mood, memory, and balance to the nervous system. Both quantity and quality of sleep contribute to our physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual health. Periods of rest, in an ever increasing world of pressure and demands, are vital for our brain health. Our daily habits and patterns play a key role in our sleep health. Our sleep health is tied directly to our mental well-being.

Reception, Reflection, and Integration

Sleep was the first state of life on this planet. It was from sleep that wakefulness emerged. As we witness Nature, we are taught that life itself is an ebb and flow of seasonal activity and rest. We need periods of wakefulness and activity, just as we need periods of rest and sleep. As we understand the parallels of the various stages of wakefulness and sleep, we begin to see with new eyes. First, there is wakefulness. In this state we are constantly learning and receiving messages from the world around us. Waking brain activity resembles the outside sensory world, or reception. Next, is the state of rest and non-REM sleep which has its various stages. NREM plays a role in the body’s ability to repair, regenerate and rebuild. It is here that we store and strengthen raw ingredients of facts and skills. This state resembles the inside world, reflection. Lastly, there is deep sleep, known as REM sleep, also called “paradoxical sleep”. Here, it appears that the brain is awake but the body is clearly asleep. In this state, we discover innovative insights and problem solving abilities. This resembles integration. When periods of reception, reflection and integration are in balance, we create a state of harmony. We experience the fullness of our potential, and the result is a true mind-body-spirit connection. 

Night Owls and Morning Larks

In different seasons, our bodies and brains function differently. And, the circadian rhythms generated by our internal clocks vary from person to person. In a favorite section of his book, Walker discusses the metaphor of morning larks and night owls. I love all things birds! Morning larks are those who prefer to wake up around dawn and function optimally at this time of day, consisting of 40% of the population. Night owls are the ‘evening types,’ who prefer to go to bed later and subsequently wake up late, making up 30% of the population. The remaining 30% lie between AM and PM-ness with a slight leaning towards evenings. In our culture, we optimize morning larks, thus the night owls are not often able to experience their full work potential in many jobs. Those who lean towards staying up late are chronically sleep deprived. Therefore, they have greater illness. They have higher rates of depression, anxiety, diabetes, cancer, heart attacks, strokes and a myriad of other physical and mental health challenges. It seems so unfair! 

A few weeks ago, I took a moonlight walk. In my neighborhood, there are so many beautiful trees. One can hear the music of the birds from dawn until dusk. As I walked in quiet meditation, engaged with my senses, I heard the call of an owl. The miraculous creature was right there, hidden in the branches of a tree right above me. I stood still and listened carefully, and I was left breathless in that moment. I was reminded of the uniqueness of the night owl.

Like birds, we humans are unique. At various seasons in my life, I have resonated with the life of a morning lark, while at other times I resonate with the night owls. For most of my adult life, I feel naturally drawn to the life of a morning lark. Currently, I am raising three teenage daughters, each in a different season of life. In our home, it often feels like we are a house full of birds, each of us singing a different tune, just trying not to nip and peck each other too much.

Can you empathize with my struggle?!

I feel for our children; I feel for our youth; I feel for all of us! We have not built our structures to support all the types of birds. Nor do we hold space, as a culture, for all the unique ways that humans exist. 

A Return Trip

At this season in my life, I am not a great napper, but I have recently benefited from the power of mid-day deep relaxation practices. Nischala Joy Devi calls the practice of deep relaxation “a return trip.” She encourages us to take the return trip back to our true selves by embracing and applying Yoga Therapy tools and practices. By doing so, we experience a state of true Sattva. I love her beautiful way of looking at deep relaxation. Deep relaxation is an art, and an effective way to manage stress, relieve pain, regain and maintain health, and attain peace of mind. In her book, “The Healing Path of Yoga,” she writes, “In deep relaxation, there is a physical softening of our bodies and a sense of distancing and detachment from our problems and worries.” Her words give me all the feels. 

It is interesting to view sleep through the lens of Parenthood. As a young mother, I recall many sleepless nights. I have vivid memories of rocking my babies to sleep, singing along to the words of a favorite lullaby, “Sleep, Baby Sleep.” Ironically, the very thing I wished for my daughters was the very thing I sacrificed- sleep. In those days, sleep did not feel like it was mine to have. In hindsight, I can see that since that season in my life, my personal sleep health has suffered. 

Prioritizing Sleep and Learning to Slow Down

Recently, I have felt a call to better prioritize my sleep. The first step to change is awareness. So, I began to notice and observe. Over the last couple months, I kept a daily sleep journal. I also discovered the Sleep Cycle app which was helpful in observing my personal sleep patterns. Here are some of my observations. When I first began this self study, I observed that most nights, I was in bed between 7-8 hours; however, I was only actually asleep for 4-6 hours. Also, my quality of sleep seemed inconsistent. I noticed various brain wave fluctuations that did not make sense. Sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the night unable to stop the churning of thoughts in the mind. I paid careful attention to my moods, my ability to focus, and my levels of anxiety in relation to the quality and quantity of my sleep. I noted inconsistencies in my schedule and fluctuations in the various stages of NREM and REM sleep. I observed lifestyle patterns that may contribute to my struggle with sleep. Noting my observations really woke me up (no pun intended)!

Some things are in our control. Others, not so much. A couple weeks ago, just as I was feeling pretty confident about my new-found sleep discoveries, I fell and fractured my foot, causing an oblique displaced fracture of the fifth metatarsal. This tiny break abruptly changed my life! I’ve had to adjust my plans for the next several weeks as I take time to heal. My daily way of living has been greatly impacted. As a Pitta-Vata type, slowing down is not easy for me. I have been forced to slow down. This has been really hard for me on a physical, mental and emotional level.

When our busyness is stripped away from us, we are faced with the nakedness of our humanity. When we are forced to stop moving in our normal ways, we are left to bare the soul that lies beneath it all. In these moments we realize that there is more to us than all the things we do.

These last couple of weeks have been hard for me. And yet, they have allowed me to be deeply reflective. There are tiny miracles to experience and wonderful life lessons to be learned in every downfall.

The Dalai Lama calls sleep “the best meditation”. Ernest Hemingway says, “I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”  Matthew Walker shares two thoughts I love. First, “The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”

And, my personal favorite,

“Sleep is the state we must enter in order to fix that which has been upset by being awake.”

YES! When I read these words, I felt a spark of aliveness! I felt awakened! The realization that I NEED sleep, that I DESERVE sleep, hit me like never before.

Sleep and rest are healing and recovery periods.

Sleep opens the door for us to dream. Dreaming enhances creativity and productivity. Dreaming provides emotional first aid. Emotional memory reactivation is occurring in the dream stage of sleep, which allows us to re-process upsetting memories in a safer, calmer environment.

Marsha Norman so poetically says,

“Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.”

Sleep is a Gift

For me, sleep and rest have become forms of self love. I want to heal. I miss being free to walk, run and dance. I miss my daily Yoga practice. I am learning to modify which is helpful for me as a training Yoga Therapist. Empathy has become my internal companion over the last couple weeks and in various circumstances in my life when I have faced physical and mental health challenges. 

This process of healing and this experiment of self-study has been eye-opening for me. I still have much work to do, but I am noticing, and I am making small changes to improve my sleep health. I am writing a new chapter in my soul’s story. This chapter includes more rest, more sleep and more time spent in the land of dreams.

In my efforts to heal and improve my sleep health, I am exploring a myriad of tools to help me find rest, relaxation and more productive sleep. A few of my favorite tools and practices include dimmed lights and soft music after dinner, epsom salt baths with candle-lit coziness, mid-day deep relaxation practices, and quiet bed-time conversations with those I love. Typically, I enjoy late afternoon walking meditation or slow evening moonlight walks. My daily walks are ‘on pause’ due to my fracture; however, I presently take time to sit in the sunlight and experience stillness. I recently began incorporating a breathing practice into my mid-night wakefulness. I make a conscious effort to practice deep 4 part circular breathing, helping me feel relaxed, calming my anxious mind and eventually allowing my brain-body to fall back to sleep. Most significantly, my daughters and I recently began practicing short, simple Asana and Yoga Nidra practices.

I have designed my bedroom space to support my sleep, and I encourage my daughters to as well. I choose colors, pictures and symbols that bring me a sense of peace and calm. I open my window for morning light. I spend time in meditation here. I am intentional with how I fuel my mind before bed. I choose books and stories that may inspire dreams of hope.

My bedroom is my sanctuary.

I am noticing a difference in our home as we have made small changes. I observe my own mental health improving, and I see my children making shifts. We are creating small changes which I hope will lead to long-term results. I feel a new-found sense of passion for so many Yoga Therapy tools, as I am witnessing how they make a difference in my life, in the lives of my children and in the lives of those who I have the opportunity to work with. 

Sleep is a time to draw inward. As we give our minds rest from the noises around us, we awaken the dreams that live within us. We become more conscious human beings.  Good sleep and rest are essential for mental health and overall brain health. Sleep is a skill we can develop with time and practice. Sleep is something we must choose. Someone anonymous once said…

“I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.” 

May we have the courage to quiet the voices outside of us and go within. May we pay careful attention to our individual patterns and daily habits. May we establish rituals in our lives for improved mental and physical well-being. May we give our minds rest from the noise around us. May we give our bodies time and space to heal so that we may more freely move through life. May we experience the benefits of reception, reflection and integration. May we move between periods of aliveness and rest in this dance we call life! We are meant to experience it all. May we look at sleep as a state of awe and wonder. May we allow ourselves to dream. For it is here where our cherished memories reside. It is here where we can heal and restore that which has been broken. May we explore, discover and unlock the dreams that live within us all.

References

• “Why We Sleep; Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams”, by Matthew Walker
• Yoga Therapy for Sleep & Brain Health, HAPY, Stephani Sutherland
• “The Healing Path of Yoga,” by Nischala Joy Devi
• “The Strange Sleeping Habits of Five Great Geniuses”, The Sleep Judge
• My personal 8 week experiment & observations (Daily journaling, Sleep Cycle app, Yoga Therapy tools, etc.)

Early on a winter’s morning, as I was on my way to yoga, I noticed a billboard for a health-care organization: 

“Every Heart Has a Story“

These words stayed with me all month long. As humans, we each have our own heart story. It’s a story of our feelings, our experiences, and how the heart responds to both our lived experiences and the stories we tell ourselves. 

In February, we celebrate LOVE. It’s the month of the heart! I want to share a story from my heart to yours…

Heartbeat Check-in

One night, years ago, I was snuggled up in bed with my daughter Khloe. Without thinking, I placed my ear on her warm little chest and listened to her heart. It was so faint and soft. I had been reading about a mother who listened to her daughter’s heart. I was touched by her story. It inspired me to take a moment with my daughter that night and listen to her subtle heartbeat. I told her what her heart wanted me to say to her. Then, she laid her ear to my chest and whispered my heart’s secrets to me. It was beautiful. I felt a heart-to-heart connection with Khloe that night. We called it our “heartbeat check-in.”

I miss those days. I loved bonding with my girls. Most nights, just before they drifted away to sleepy dreamland, we would read books and sing songs. I can still recite the words to many of these sweet songs, and I still remember the stories we read. 

Because of that experience with Khloe, this “heartbeat check-in” became a ritual for us. It calmed my sometimes stressed-out mind, and helped me come back to my heart. To remember why I worked so hard to show up for my girls.

The truth is, it wasn’t always easy to show up in these nightly rituals with my girls. At times, I found myself exhausted with a headache at the end of a long day. But I did my best to create bonding moments. I can now see that behind that loving mother was, at times, a woman who was tired, irritable, and stressed out. Sometimes, in my mind, I visit that young mother. I tell her that I’m really proud of her. She was doing her very best, and She was always enough.

While I can’t go back in time, I can look back to those times and remind myself now of what I wish I knew then. I remind myself not to take life so seriously. I tell myself to slow down. I give myself permission to say no. I teach myself about the importance of boundaries. I trust those gut feelings and intuitions more fully. If I could go back, I would offer myself daily heartbeat check-ins. I’d check in with my own heart at the end of each day.

I have learned the importance of caring for my own heart, first. Today, I know that I need to show up for myself first and foremost. Self-love and self-care are essential ingredients to good health, and they are priorities for me.

Over time, I have established my own rituals to care for my heart. These rituals include daily yoga, breathing, and meditation practices. I take time each day to read and educate my mind. I listen to inspiring podcasts. I also take time each day to study. These daily habits make all the difference for me. 

“Every day health is achieved by every day effort.”

-Indu Aurora

It’s hard to care for ourselves when there are so many other people to care for, which can often stress us out. By caring for me first, my heart has grown. Now, I am able to love more deeply and give more genuinely. I can enjoy the process of caring, instead of feeling stressed out by it.

The Paradox of Stress

Recently, I completed a course called Yoga for Heart Disease and Cancer. All this month, I studied the HEART, as an emotional and spiritual metaphor, and as a vital organ. I learned how emotions come from the heart-space, and how they influence the physical shape and health of the heart. This was a fascinating course. We explored the anatomy of the heart, and the heart’s connection to the mind, body, and spirit.

In this course, we studied an underlying condition that often contributes to heart disease, stress. Stress is a top contributor to many modern maladies. But there’s a paradox:

Stress can be good for us, and stress can harm us. 

It’s all in how we frame it. There’s an upside to stress. It prepares the body to react to threats and opportunities. Stress is a nervous system response, often referred to as “fight or flight.” Stress mobilizes our bodies and minds for action. A stressful event happens, we feel the rush of adrenaline, and we react. When stress causes fear, we can lash out, get defensive, or run away. But, when we take a moment to be mindful in the midst of a stressful situation, we can maintain control of our actions and use stress to sharpen our minds and focus on a solution. Stress can ruin our day, or help us achieve our goals and dreams. When stress causes us to feel out of control, afraid, or threatened, we become distressed. Distress negatively impacts our health and well-being, causing feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, depression, and depletion. Dis-tress causes chronic illness and dis-ease.

Research shows that when we view stress as a helpful friend rather than a dangerous enemy, our stress is less likely to cause heart disease. This TEDTalk explores the relationship between stress and how we frame it, and the health impacts of our mindset.

“When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

In Tune with the Heart

Our body is a miraculous network full of interconnected systems. When these systems work together, we feel a sense of balance. When we are out of balance, stress can become a chronic disease. I love the metaphor that the body is like a symphony. Each system within the body operates like an individual musical instrument in an orchestra. When the instruments work together, we become an entire synchronized symphony, and a state of harmony is created. However, when the systems of the body are out of tune and not in alignment with each other, the music turns to cacophony.

Imagine attending a concert in which one or more of the instruments were out of tune, and the musicians were not keeping time with the conductor. Sounds like some school recitals I’ve been to! Cute, but stressful.

Yoga offers a set of practices that help tune up the systems of the body so they can work together in harmony. Yoga won’t solve all our problems, but it improves our well-being, reduces stress, improves circulation and organ function, and helps us to live a more balanced life. Yoga can help us to stay in tune with our heart.

“Yoga is not a treatment. Rather it is a consciousness that allows health, balance and joy to be your companions throughout your life’s journey.” 

-Nischala Joy Devi

Discovering Joy

I love that little 3 letter word… JOY What if we could transform the stresses of daily life into joy? Joy is a beautiful experience. Joy is felt in the heart. It’s a warm feeling in the chest. How do you define joy? And more importantly, how do you FEEL joy?

“I love thinking of joy as the good mood of the soul.”

-Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart

I feel joy when my 14 year old daughter and I sit at the kitchen table and have a chat. I find joy when I read words that educate my mind and inspire my heart. I experience joy in a soul to soul connection with a close friend. I discover joy when I am in my body. I feel joy when I am in Nature. I experience joy when I am a witness to my own healing. I feel joy when one of my sisters sends me a good song. Music is the song of my heart!

Each day, I try to look for moments of joy. This practice of finding joy is my “heartbeat check-in.” It helps me view the natural stress of life from a new perspective, transforming unexpected changes to my plans to opportunities for spontaneous connection and insight.

The Shape of the Heart

As February comes to a close, I am reflecting on the feelings of my heart. Often, our hearts are filled with joy. At times, our hearts become heavy. Sometimes, our hearts race as we face stress. And for too many, lonely hearts feel empty and hopeless.

Heartbreak is part of the human experience. We feel heart-broken when we lose someone or something we loved, like a romantic relationship, friendship, family member, pet, or a job. Heartbreak can cause stress, heaviness, and loneliness. This place of suffering and pain is usually accompanied with grief. 

Grief changes the shape of our hearts. In his powerful TedTalk, Sandeep Jauhar, a cardiologist and author, explores the mysterious ways our emotions impact the health of our heart. I love his articulation of the metaphorical heart. He calls for a shift in how we care for the heart, our most vital organ.

My heart has been broken, and my heart has been healed. When I was experiencing a sense of deep loss, my coach recommended that I “date” myself. There is a great beauty and maturation that comes when we spend time getting to know ourselves. I believe this is an important aspect of self-love. This was an important piece of advice and something I regularly take the time to do. It turns out that I like being with myself. Taking time to be by myself has become another heartbeat check-in.

The Next Chapter in My Heart Story

Taking time to be by myself doesn’t mean I always want to be alone. In fact, I want to open my heart and share a new chapter with you. But before I do, I’d like to share one last story.

My Grandma ‘Pearl’ Ashton was an influential woman in my life. I have fond memories of my Grandma. As a young girl, I loved spending time around her and being at her home. She was a strong, independent woman who valued hard work and family. While I imagine she was under a lot of stress, she smiled often. I remember her smile. It brought me joy.

She spent the last half of her life as a widow, after losing her husband to cancer. She was left to raise 5 children, seek an education, pursue a career, and care for a new home. She was in her mid 40’s at this time (the same age as I am right now). With the help from her family and neighbors, she opened and ran a preschool, out of her home for many years. She operated this preschool until she was 83 years old! I remember her preschool very well.

Though I was not alive during most of the years she was rebuilding her life after loss, I have vivid memories of watching the way she showed up for those she loved, including me. I had great respect and admiration for her. She died 14 years ago, at the age of 98. I was 31 when she died, but I have felt her presence with me on multiple occasions over the last 15 years. 

Just over a year ago, I felt her presence very strongly.

It was on a winter night. I was driving home during a rainstorm. On this particular drive, my heart was full. I was feeling my way through some difficult emotions. I could feel tears streaming down my face. As I drove and cried, it began to rain. Within a few minutes, it was pouring rain. In that moment, it felt like my heart was in sync with Mother Nature. She was shedding tears of rain, in an effort to cleanse and heal the Earth. I was also cleansing and healing my own heart. I felt connected to Mother Nature, to the Earth and to my Grandma Ashton.

That night, I was feeling a sense of fear. I was wondering how I was going to do all these new hard things as a single mother, on my own. Dating in your 40’s is complicated. I dated a few different guys, and I had some ups and downs. In that process, I learned a whole lot about myself. After a period of dating, I decided that I may be better off on my own. 

As I was pondering the question that night… “will I be ok on my own?” I felt the presence of my grandmother. It was as if she were there, reassuring me that I would be ok. I felt a deep sense that, no matter what, I would be ok. I would be ok on my own. That was exactly what my heart needed to feel. I could trust that, come what may, I would be ok. I felt a renewed sense of inner confidence, and my heart felt open again.

Shortly after that night, something interesting and unexpected happened…

Someone showed up in my life.

Today, I want to introduce you to someone who is very close to my heart. 

Meet, Dave.

“Relationship is the deepest poetry.”

Hi, my name’s Dave. I’ll be a regular contributor to these posts. Holly is the love of my life. We are in a long-distance relationship. We see each other every two or three weeks. I’m in the middle of writing a book and making a documentary. Both of our lives are busy, but Holly always takes time to show up for me. She makes me feel like I’m home, even when we’re miles apart. My heart is filled and lifted by her every day. 

What can I say, I’m a lucky guy. 

I look forward to sharing stories, research, and practices alongside Holly on our beautiful little website. Thanks for taking the time to read. If you’ve made it this far, and you’re curious about me, take a few more minutes to hear my heart story:

Thanks, Dave!

This is Holly again, by the way. 

I hope you’ll listen to Dave’s beautiful and HEARTfelt story about finding purpose and meaning. His story is inspiring. Dave inspires me, in so many ways.

I am very excited to share this space with Dave. Dave is the most curious and kind-hearted person I know. He is a big part of the reason this website exists. Dave shows up for the people he loves. I feel very lucky to be one of those people.

Life with Dave is filled with moments of JOY!

Dave and I look forward to working together on this website as we continue to learn and grow together, and in our individual lives.

I hope you’ll stay connected with us as we take this leap of faith!

“We are part of the whole body of humanity, living in our own worlds, surrounded by life’s dreams and dramas. To touch and embrace another allows us to feel the rhythm of our own hearts.”

-Nischala Joy Devi (Yoga Ambassador, Heart Giver and Spiritual Guru)