I recently had a moment of perspective that’s since been resonating with me…

One day, on a mid-November morning, I woke up feeling a sense of gloom. That down in the dumps feeling, a hopeless kinda vibe; accompanied by some underlying grief, exhaustion, frustration and irritability… All bubbling up inside me, gradually.

I wanted to feel differently, but it was what it was… One of those days.

There was no time for my regular comforting morning rituals. I had agreed to teach a way too early in the morning class. So, I quickly threw on some clothes. A faded old tank, an oversized flannel, and a pair of leggings from my hamper. No surprise, I was behind on laundry. 

I did, however, take time to make myself some coffee, my only saving grace. As I rushed out my door, I felt the cool breath of morning and a hint of gratitude for something as simple as a warm cup of coffee.

I pulled out of my garage, the morning sunlight blinding my tired eyes. Readjusting my rearview mirror, I pointed it down towards my face. I was not ready for what came next. My eyes carried heavy bags underneath them. A plethora of wrinkles, extending out from my eyes, like little pathways. My messy hair, graying at its roots, took me by surprise… I wasn’t even sure of its natural color anymore. And the lines on my forehead looked like someone had drawn them on.

My age was showing up as clear as the morning sky.

As I drove to work, the various neon road work signs and drivers fueled with road rage, in their early morning rush, were not helping my situation. “Why on Earth are people up and out so early?” I thought to myself, rolling my heavy eyes. There was certainly nowhere else I’d have rather been than nestled in my cozy bed, checked out of reality, back in the land of dreams.

And then there was the leftover wrappers sprawled out all over my seats and the fingerprints all over my windows from the teenagers who took my car on a late night drive the night before. It was all I could not to scream. Although no one was in my car so I may as well have… I’ve done it before.

I held my steering wheel for dear life, as several four letter words echo’d through my mind.

Suddenly, I became acutely aware of my experience.

First, my body. I noticed my shoulders were sunken in and there was a heaviness in my heart. A subtle aching behind my eyes, and a not so subtle sense of irritability rising up inside my chest. My jaw was clenched, and my breath felt shallow.

I let myself notice and feel what was there. Various sensations, emotions and thoughts… very real, very present. Grief, hopelessness, exhaustion, frustration… Nearly a decade of hard work showing up on my face.

For a few moments, I stayed with it all… Welcoming it all in.

Then, I clicked on my favorite November vibes album, Evermore, and hummed along, in an effort to warm up my early morning voice. I felt embodied by the sound of music in my ears and the aftertaste of coffee in my mouth.

Within minutes, I was crossing a bridge over the American River, a landmark in my neck of the woods.

Suddenly, I looked up, out, and beyond me.

Everything began to shift.

To my east, the sun was rising, filling the morning sky with a rainbow of colors. To my west, the full bright moon was still lingering in the sky, not quite ready to disappear.

It was simply breathtaking.

In the presence of this gift, gratitude was my first intuitive response. I wondered how many others were partaking of this glorious sight. I took in some fresh breaths, and breathed out thanks to Mother Earth.

As my breath deepened, sensations of joy and gratitude swept through my body. A glimmer of hope lit up my heart. I felt uplifted.

This Sky of Awareness elevated my entire being.

Tears dropped from my eyes like the morning dew. The salt from my tears and the aftertaste of coffee were quite the pairing.

I went back and forth between these various sensations and emotions. First, the heaviness, hopelessness, frustration and irritability. And then, gratitude, joy, and a sense of elevated lightness… Present with all that was within me, around me, and way out and beyond me.

I noticed my jaw had softened, and I began to sit a a little taller, finding my posture. My shoulders felt lighter, and the tightness around my chest loosened. Meanwhile, the tension in my eyes had subsided.

When I arrived at my destination, I stayed in my car for a few minutes. Glancing at my reflection again, I paused to look deeper.

My eyes, an ocean of greens and blues, glistening with tiny sparkles of white and speckles of brown like sand on the seashore. Built-in pouches under my eyes to catch my tears before they fell to my cheeks and washed away. My hair, a sunset of coppers, reds, golds, silvers and whites, all blending together, and a waterfall of messy curls cascading down and around my face. Faded freckles on my pale, winter skin. These kisses from the sun, that for so long, I had wished away… Reminding me of my love of Nature, and perhaps, her love for me.

The ever present lines on my forehead… Symbolizing my courage and authenticity, and the wisdom that had come with hardship and age. And, my wrinkles, reflecting all the lessons I’ve learned and the roads I have taken, forming the map of my life… Highlighting the heartache, the joy, the laughter, the memories, and the truth of my life.

I smiled at myself, proud of the woman I have become; the woman I am today… All of her.

A real-life moment of meditation.

I recalled an intention I’ve been working with in my life. A tiny seed, planted in my heart long ago, had taken root. Through daily practice and study, I had been watering and nourishing this seed, this intention. It felt very real and true in this moment, much like the sun that was rising in the sky as the full moon was dropping away, yet still bright and present.

Wholeheartedly living and breathing my intention, I repeated it silently, “I am present in each moment; my life itself is a beautiful meditation.”

The tools of meditation help us develop important life skills. When applied, over time and with practice, we become more present and awake in the world. We can rewire our nervous systems and train our bodies and minds to find a sense of calm and ease, even amidst our suffering.

Yet, how often do we ignore, push away, or even bury what needs tending to? By doing so, we are procrastinating, even elongating our suffering. Ironically, when we tend to our bodies, our breath, our emotions, and our thoughts, we free ourselves of suffering. We heal.

That’s the paradox of it all.

The tools in iRest help us discover intentions, values, and our Inner Resource in a very personal way. We can learn, through practice, how to interweave the tools of meditation in our daily lives, so that we are living from a place of grounded security, authenticity, peace, happiness, joy, ease and well-being. So that we are present in each moment… So that our lives become our meditation.

One of the foundational principles of iRest is that “Everything is a Messenger.”

We understand that sensations, emotions, and thoughts are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. They are movements within Awareness and layers of our human experience. However, they are not who we are at our core. Nor are they the essence of our existence. Rather, they are simply messengers and our body’s way of communicating with us.

The steps in iRest, such as body and breath sensing, help us prepare to navigate difficult sensations, pain, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and memories that cause symptoms of anxiety, depression, insomnia, addiction, PTSD, and so on.

As we learn to recognize and welcome everything in, without trying to fix, change or alter our experience, or escape what is happening, things begin to shift, all on their own. It is a natural process.

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

Meditation gives us perspective.

Ultimately, we discover how to rest in a state of calm and ease, even with all the disruptions happening within, around and outside of us. Helping us to be less reactive and more responsive in our lives.

When we can take an honest look back, a deep look inward, and perhaps, a broad look outward, we begin to realize and understand the power and purpose of meditation.

As well, we can experience an undeniable and even indescribable presence that exists within us all, our true and essential nature.

iRest