My oldest daughter attends UCLA and lives right in the heart of where surrounding fires took homes, communities and lives. We felt so much love from family and friends who checked in to make sure she was ok. When the campus moved classes online for a period of time, she and a friend decided to drive home and spend a week with us while things were unsettling in LA. 

I love having my girls and the people we love at home together, especially during times like this.

We enjoyed dinner conversations, sharing our current sunrises (things that bring us joy), sunsets (things that are challenging, yet paradoxically beautiful), and shooting stars (things we are looking forward to). 

We talked about the brutalities and beauties of nature, the people and animals who’ve lost homes and places to hibernate, and the heartbreak that accompanies these disasters in our lives. We gathered clothing to donate to women and girls in Los Angeles, with handwritten notes of love placed inside the pockets.

It was an intimate week of being home together. Laughing, crying, studying, healing, and opening our hearts to each other.

Winter allows me time to nest, rest, ponder, organize, work, create, and simply BE. Filled with echoes of teenagers and young adults roaming about, laced with moments of quietude and peace, my home is my sanctuary. A refuge of safety and a fortitude for healing. 

And yet, winter is also a challenging season for me.

Several years ago, I found myself in the depths of my own personal winter. I had been diagnosed with anxiety and seasonal depression which followed other mental health struggles that came to the surface during some difficult life transitions. That dark winter followed other dark seasons, and on and on it went. I savored moments of joy, because they seemed sparse, like branches of trees in wintertime. Yet, in time and through the various pathways of meditation, medication, therapy, study, practice and a lot of patience, I noticed my symptoms improving.

I am forever grateful for the tools I’ve found and the relationships I’ve built which have truly given me the strength to carry on. 

When we are depressed, it feels as though we are literally pressed down upon. Everything, even the smallest tasks, seems daunting. The powerlessness and heaviness that accompany depression are very real. I feel a deep sense of empathy for anyone who struggles with mental health because it can be… Debilitating. Especially for those of us who feel the collective burdens of humanity.

There is so much that seems unjust and uncertain in the world right now. This moment feels overwhelming on many fronts.

As well, we are constantly bombarded with messages emphasizing ways to get famous, get fit, and anti-aging. Oftentimes, we prioritize money, image and popularity over simplicity, authenticity and privacy.

All we have to do is engage with media for a few minutes to see how polarizing things in our country are right now. We’ve come to see the world through the illusion and filters of social media instead of what is actually real. While I’ve discovered many accounts that include picturesque places in nature, beautiful places to travel, cute tiny homes, words of inspiration, and a number of accounts which feel authentic to me, there is a distrust I feel in that space. Social media can be a prison of comparison, and is taking a toll on the well being of so many people, especially on our youth. And yet, it’s the world we’ve all created. So here we are, in a mental health crisis, wondering what brought us here.

It’s saddening. No wonder so many of us are struggling… Because we are trying to live in a culture that doesn’t align with our true nature.

As with anything, there are wonderful things that we can do with all the resources we have at our hands. Perhaps we might simply reconsider our relationship to media? Trusting what we feel rather than what we see, as we scroll these various platforms. Taking long breaks (and long breaths) when needed. Considering what we put out and what we take in.

What also feels challenging is the pressure and hype in our culture around the new year to set goals and do more.

Society teaches us to maximize our time and productivity. Somewhere in our psyche’s we have come to believe that our worth is tied to our productivity. We are always striving, doing, moving and hustling.

No time for stillness; no time for breathing, feeling, or simply being… No time for healing. 

Meditation for many people in our culture is strange and uncomfortable. It’s against the stream. This is because we are addicted to trying to figure things out. We are addicted to doing. We are addicted to showcasing our lives instead of living our lives.

No one is going to give us permission to slow down. We are, by and large, afraid of silence, stillness, spaciousness, and the doing of nothing.

Yet, peace and awareness are the gifts that come with stillness. Strength and confidence are qualities that naturally arise within us when, instead of following cultural norms, we have the courage to turn inward.

Perhaps, the most reflective season, winter invites us to contemplate our choices and re-establish our priorities. It gives us permission to move slowly and put aside goals and resolutions that may be better suited for other seasons when our energy is higher.

Wintertime gives us the space to come face to face with our inner lives. One of the ways we can do this is through restfulness.

Rest is not something I prioritized most of my adult life. With age and the setbacks I’ve encountered, I’ve learned that rest is not only a gift, but essential to my well-being. Now, rest is one of my core values. 

As a single, working mother, with a lot on my plate, this takes intentionality, creativity, a sense of boundaries, and lots of patience. Like all of you, I am learning how to balance it all; simply doing the best I can with all the challenges I face. One season, one day, one moment at a time.

For now, I am consciously choosing to set aside goals I have for myself in other seasons of the year. Giving myself slow mornings at home; time, little and often, to meditate, study, read, and connect with loved ones. Taking time each day to sit and simply breathe and stretch my body, utilizing yogic shapes and postures that are reflective of winter time. If I choose to hit the gym, which is rare these days, I am mindful and attentive to how my body is feeling in whatever exercises I do. 

Slow winter walks with in the afternoon have become a favorite pastime of mine. I miss snowy days that remind me of an idyllic childhood… Sleigh rides in the horse pasture and long drives to the mountains with family to cut down fresh trees. Yet, I have become fond of Northern California winters. Aesthetically pleasing to the senses, with its blend of bare branches, pink blooming camellias, birds singing, wild turkeys roaming free, and the smell of earth after long awaited rain.

I am curious… How are you choosing to navigate and celebrate the season at hand? And, in what specific ways do you weave rest into your day to day living, even amidst the demands of your life?

Finally, I leave you with of the most essential lessons I have learned throughout the difficult seasons of my own life, which is that oftentimes…

The antidote for depression is deep rest.

So today, my gift to you is one of deep rest…

iRest